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Success and asking for help

Posted on May 19, 2019 at 12:40 AM

No one reaches the top on his or her own. We all know the saying, but nonetheless, we often still think that asking for help is a shame. Our thinking comes in between and we think we fail or show that we are not good enough when we ask for help. That little voice inside that tells us that we need to prove our worth. To whom would you need to prove you are worthy?


Isn’t it so that we are all already worthy and that no one is in the position to be able to ask you to prove your worth? Of course, your boss, manager or supervisor has every right to ask you to show that you are good at your task and that you do what is asked of you, but we tend to forget that this is not the same as proving that you are a worthy person. When they tell you that you are not doing your job, this does not say anything else about you than exactly that.


It is useless even to try to prove your worth as you cannot tell the other person what to think or feel or how to perceive you. We can only show our best version of who we think we are and then it is up to the other person to do with it whatever they feel like. The other day I was in a situation with one of my colleagues in which he was offended by a question I asked him. It was a question without any negative intent so I was highly surprised by his response. I have always worked really well with him so that added to my surprise. After having asked for feedback from another colleague, I realised it had actually nothing to do with me or the way I asked the question. It had triggered something in him that is linked to his own thoughts on the subject. After asking the same question to other colleagues, I received many positive replies. It would have been a shame if I had let myself be stopped by his response.


So how does this relate to asking for help and being successful? When we no longer look at how other people perceive us and feel free to be ourselves and ask for help, the route to our desired path will be more visible. It does not necessarily make it easier, but we will be less distracted by obstructions we expect to be there but are only designed by us.


If you would like to be coached in this, feel free to contact me.


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